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<title>Answers to your questions</title>
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<description>Thanks for the questions. These are all I had time for. The person who asked the question is listed BELOW my response. It&#39;s a TypePad thing. Despite the many committments and responsibilities, how often do you stand in the shower...</description>
<content:encoded>&lt;p&gt;Thanks for the questions. These are all I had time for.&lt;/p&gt;



&lt;p&gt;The person who asked the question is listed BELOW my response. It&#39;s a TypePad thing.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Despite the many committments and responsibilities, how often do you stand in the shower in the morning and think, &amp;quot;Wow, I&#39;ve made it! I&#39;m not working for someone else, doing the 9 to 5 grind anymore. I&#39;ve got this great family. Life is really cool!&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. Quite often&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Richard in Savannah | January 10, 2007 at 09:00 AM &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Have you ever had problems with procrastinating? What did you do? And what did you do about it? I think it&#39;s possibly the most afflicting problem when you&#39;re trying to write. I&#39;m reaching new lows of having to disconnect the internet and hide my dvd&#39;s etc. Lau x&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. No, I am whatever is the opposite of a procrastinator.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Laura | January 10, 2007 at 09:00 AM &lt;br /&gt;Do you still have that good friends (if any) from those times when you werent neither that rich or famous?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. The majority of my friends are in that category.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: T.G. | January 10, 2007 at 08:57 AM &lt;br /&gt;How often do you come up with ideas - jokes, solutions to geopolitical crises, patentable inventions - that you just don&#39;t manage to do anything much with? The thing I always wonder most about creative people is not where they get their ideas from (that clearly doesn&#39;t mean anything much) but, given the thinking/output ratio people are capable of, what proportion of their ideas just end up wasted. &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. 99% wasted&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Seamus | January 10, 2007 at 08:57 AM &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;1. Which was harder: applying to be a cartoonist or giving up the &#39;for sure&#39; paycheck once you had been told you Dilbert had been selected?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. I didn’t give up the paycheck until Dilbert was in hundreds of papers. I’m financially conservative.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;2. Are you harder on yourself in terms of a work routing now that you are responsible for your own time?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. No. I’ve always worked hard.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;3. Do you ever get tired of seeing Dilbert stuff around your house? &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. I don’t have any around the house. Just one Dilbert doll.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;4. Do you give Dilbert related presents to family &amp;amp; friends?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. Sometimes, if it’s something cool like a Dilbert Christmas ornament.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;5. Where do you get your inspiration now that you have been out of the &#39;regular&#39; workforce for some time?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. From e-mailed suggestions mostly. Sometimes from the headlines. Lots of it is just from memory.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Lora | January 10, 2007 at 08:53 AM &lt;br /&gt;Do you have a nice big house?&lt;br /&gt;A. Small home. Big office across the street. I’m planning to build a big home.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Can I come over?&lt;br /&gt;A. Sure. The key is under the mat.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Don G | January 10, 2007 at 08:52 AM &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;What is the capital of Finland? &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. Helsinki&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Paul | January 10, 2007 at 08:50 AM &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;What&#39;s your favorite racial epithet?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. White trash. &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Adam | January 10, 2007 at 08:46 AM &lt;br /&gt;I&#39;d be curious to hear you describe your average day.&lt;br /&gt;A. About 4 hours of cartooning. 2 hours of blog stuff. 2 hours of miscellaneous Dilbert stuff including paperwork. Usually a workout or tennis. A few hours of family time. Eating at restaurants a few times a week, usually with friends. Travel to speaking about 20+ times a year. The rest is ordinary stuff. &lt;br /&gt;Also, would be interested to know if you make more money from the actual Dilbert strip or the ancillary business associated with it (books, calendars, speaking engagements, licensing, etc.).&lt;br /&gt;A. Depends on the year. Licensing can come in big clumps. &lt;br /&gt;Posted by: Ted | January 10, 2007 at 08:46 AM &lt;br /&gt;Do you listen to audio books (ie Audible.com). If so what was the last book you listened to?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. No. &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Allen | January 10, 2007 at 08:46 AM &lt;br /&gt;Years ago, National Lampoon had a book out called &amp;quot;Cartoons Even We Didn&#39;t Dare Print.&amp;quot; Have you ever considered something similar with Dilbert? A collection of really funny stuff that would never make it in the newspapers?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. Yes. I wouldn’t have enough for a book.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Phil V | January 10, 2007 at 08:46 AM &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;After a year of reading your blog and Religion war, if you see the internet as the nervous system of god, I think one of your major fantasy is to have the prime idea that will change the world, reboot the world. &lt;br /&gt;Is it what you try to accomplish with this blog?&lt;br /&gt;A. It’s not the main reason for the blog, but I prefer activities that have some potential, no matter how unlikely, of changing the world in a good way.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Ben | January 10, 2007 at 08:44 AM &lt;br /&gt;Do you fight much with depression? Or is life so fabulous that it has solved that aspect of living?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. I’m happy 90% of the time no matter what is happening in my life. I’m sad 10% no matter what is happening too.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Adam | January 10, 2007 at 08:43 AM &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;When you think about people (in your sleep and/or as you try to save the world), do you think in terms of cartoons or photos?&lt;br /&gt;e.g. picture Bush giving a speech. Did you see a lifelike version in your imagination, or a crudely scrawled (but highly entertaining) black-and-white cartoon with genital-shaped hair?&lt;br /&gt;A. Real people.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Gavin | January 10, 2007 at 08:38 AM &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;I&#39;ve been wondering about the phrase that may have changed world events. Any chance you&#39;ll ever confess what that was?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. Not any time soon.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Mr. Credulous | January 10, 2007 at 08:36 AM &lt;br /&gt;And even better, do you think your life would have been a success or a failure, if you hadn&#39;t learned that people would pay you for making squiggles on paper?&lt;br /&gt;How do you think your life would have ended up if not for Dilbert?&lt;br /&gt;A. I would worked at a startup and either gotten wealthy or kept trying.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Half a Bee | January 10, 2007 at 08:34 AM &lt;br /&gt;Do you compare your &amp;quot;celebrity status&amp;quot; with that of your peers?&lt;br /&gt;ie: &amp;quot;why does Gary drive a Porsche and all I have is a Chrylser?&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. Yes, but more out of curiosity than envy.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: LA Clay | January 10, 2007 at 08:34 AM &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Oh, and regarding the minor celebrityness, when you meet a major celebrity type along the lines of Ashley Simpson, do they just look at you funny and say &amp;quot;oh, well, good luck with that&amp;quot;? Or does anyone majorly hot (i.e. not Diane Sawyer) want to bang you the moment they find out you&#39;re That Guy Who Does That Cartoon?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. That hasn’t happened yet.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Half a Bee | January 10, 2007 at 08:30 AM &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Scott,&lt;br /&gt;Do you get a lot of people hanging out at your restaurants looking to meet you (and possibly try to force feed you some red meat?)&lt;br /&gt;A. No. But lots of people recognize me when I’m there and say hi.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Chief of the Cubicle Police | January 10, 2007 at 08:30 AM &lt;br /&gt;How much spare time do you have in a given day???&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. I don’t know what “spare” means when you have a family.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Tiffany | January 10, 2007 at 08:28 AM &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Do you attribute your success to any person?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. Several people were keys to my success.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Steve | January 10, 2007 at 08:27 AM &lt;br /&gt;Are you Rich?&lt;br /&gt;I realize that how much money you make is none of my business but I can&#39;t help but wonder if you fly around in your own private jet or do you have to squeeze yourself into economy class like the rest of us?&lt;br /&gt;A. I’m rich, but not private jet rich. &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Tom the Magnificient | January 10, 2007 at 08:26 AM &lt;br /&gt;Do you have a favorite vegetarian recipe?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. Penne pasta with red sauce, shelled edamame, broccoli, cauliflower, and some hot spice.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Jeny | January 10, 2007 at 08:26 AM &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Crap..i am so late to post this..there must be a thousand questions before this one.&lt;br /&gt;Q. In your first interaction with anyone, how long does it take you to sum up the other individual?&lt;br /&gt;A. About a minute. But I’m wrong half of the time.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Himanshu Narvekar | January 10, 2007 at 08:26 AM &lt;br /&gt;Are you into health alternatives versus medicine? I use emu oil. Do you?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. I’m into whatever works. That generally means medicine.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: rita mae | January 10, 2007 at 08:24 AM &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;How do you ensure that the material you publish stays fresh and funny enough to be continually published? &lt;br /&gt;A. I write what interests and amuses me and hope for the best.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: T Evans | January 10, 2007 at 08:22 AM &lt;br /&gt;I was wondering if you keep the strips which are rejected by editors as &amp;quot;too over the top&amp;quot; for publishing in fan books or as illustrations in your humor books?&lt;br /&gt;Or do you just re-work them until they&#39;re accepted (or just start over)?&lt;br /&gt;A. It depends on how far from acceptable they are. Some can be fixed.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: gr8hands | January 10, 2007 at 08:22 AM &lt;br /&gt;What does your office look like? Do you have little Catbert dolls or other shit lying around for inspiration? Do you have a fridge in the office? How about a bar? If I was you, I would have a bar in my office. That way I could booze and work at the same time. Or you could make Shirley Temples, so that you don&#39;t get too drunk and make a Dilbert comic that insults some marginalized group.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. It’s a floor of a townhouse, with a pool table, big TV, fireplace, kitchen (mostly for Diet Cokes and popcorn). I don’t like knickknacks, so there’s not much of that around. And not much Dilbert stuff in sight.&amp;nbsp; You wouldn’t know a cartoonist worked here because I draw on the computer directly.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: DH | January 10, 2007 at 08:22 AM &lt;br /&gt;So what does it feel like to have enough money to buy anything you want should you suddenly desire it? Do you buy a lot of things or do you just sit and wish you had enough money for the few things that you can&#39;t afford?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. I have most of the ordinary things I want. The next level is yachts and helicopters. I don’t spend much time wanting that stuff.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Shane | January 10, 2007 at 08:21 AM &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Q. How do you decide about what you want to write in your blog every morning?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. It’s whatever interests me that day. I have to be personally interested or it won’t come.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Himanshu Narvekar | January 10, 2007 at 08:21 AM &lt;br /&gt;Tell us how the years you spent at Berkeley Haas have influenced your strips&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. It hasn’t influenced the strip creatively. But it’s no accident that I have an a Berkeley MBA and Dilbert is the most successful strip (economically) in many years. I run it like a business.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Daniel | January 10, 2007 at 08:20 AM &lt;br /&gt;Have you ever wanted to be someone else instead of what/who you are today?&lt;br /&gt;A. I fantasize about being a rock star or a billionaire business person who invented something that changed the world.&lt;br /&gt;How do you handle the unclarity and disarray of life? If you believe either of those are present in your life, that is. &lt;br /&gt;A. Those things don’t bother me too much. &lt;br /&gt;You&#39;re supposedly cynical and positive. Explain how those two traits don&#39;t conflict.&lt;br /&gt;A. I expect that other people have ulterior motives, yet I always assume I’ll come out okay despite those other people.&lt;br /&gt;Posted by: T Evans | January 10, 2007 at 08:20 AM &lt;br /&gt;A couple of questions&lt;br /&gt;1) What is the oddest thing someone has asked you to sign?&lt;br /&gt;A. Someone else’s book because he was too cheap to buy mine.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;2) Do you do &amp;quot;personalized&amp;quot; strips for anyone? No I am not asking I am just wondering if you have.&lt;br /&gt;A. No.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Bradford Benn | January 10, 2007 at 08:20 AM &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Are you happy, and if so what has contributed to your happiness - wealth, fame, influence, love, family, work - and what do you see as irrelevant to happiness (eg. do you think wealth relatively brings happiness)&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. I believe in the studies that show that people have a baseline of happiness that is somewhat independent of their circumstances. But that said, being rich and famous adds about 10% to the baseline. And that’s huge if it means the difference between being unhappy and happy.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Ian Ferguson | January 10, 2007 at 08:18 AM &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;How many offers did you have from groupies?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. I suspect that Bill Watterson has to live behind a gate to keep the groupies away, but drawing Dilbert does not inspire groupies.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Sven | January 10, 2007 at 08:16 AM &lt;br /&gt;Why do you do this blog day after day?&lt;br /&gt;Not that WE don&#39;t enjoy it, I just can&#39;t see what YOU are getting out of it... day after day, smarmy retort after smarmy retort, the endless whining and moaning...etc. etc. &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. I enjoy it creatively. It’s nice to have no editor between me and you. And I’m not much affected by critics who are irrational or humorless.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: basselope | January 10, 2007 at 08:15 AM &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;I was in Rouen, France recently, and there&#39;s a huge 14th century clock there that only has one hand - the hour hand. Apparently, in the 14th century, minutes weren&#39;t as important as they are today. Does a minor celebrity fret about time as much as those of us who do not enjoy (or suffer from) celebrity status?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. I do fret about the time a lot.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Tim | January 10, 2007 at 08:15 AM &lt;br /&gt;I often wonder if the cynical views that you express through your work or your blog ever cause marital trouble.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. No. &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Jenni | January 10, 2007 at 08:15 AM &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;What do you think will be the best investment theme for the next 10-15 years?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. Affordable housing.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Chris Jolin | January 10, 2007 at 08:12 AM &lt;br /&gt;Does you wife think you are funny?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. Yes.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Lost in Lamancha | January 10, 2007 at 08:12 AM &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;I read in Dilbert Principle (or future, I can&#39;t remember) that people that work at cable companies, are people who couldn&#39;t get jobs are phone companies. With the leaps and bounds that cable companies have made, do you still feel this way?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. No. They’re turning into the same companies.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Tim | January 10, 2007 at 08:12 AM &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;You entertain us. Who entertains YOU?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. I am not embarrassed to say that I love lots of television shows. Battlestar Galactica, The Daily Show, Real Time, The Office, My Name is Earl, Heroes, Two and a Half Men, etc.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Just Curious | January 10, 2007 at 08:10 AM &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Who do you believe is the greatest cartoonist ever, Larson or Watterson?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. Too close to call.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Coward | January 10, 2007 at 08:09 AM &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;How many times a day (or week or month if more appropriate) do you get recognized (with and without being at a Dilbert-related or Scott Adams-related function)?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. Locally, it happens all the time. But people rarely approach me. I only know because I see the whispering and pointing. When I travel, it almost never happens. &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;How many times a day (or week or month if more appropriate) do you hear about Dilbert (with or without being recognized and with or without being at a Dilbert-related or Scott Adams-related function)?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. I don’t hear people talking. But I do run into mentions of Dilbert in magazines and books, or see Dilbert mentioned on TV. That’s always strange.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Cody | January 10, 2007 at 08:08 AM &lt;br /&gt;Would you rather be rich or famous? Would you give up some of your riches to be more famous, or would you prefer to be rich but totally anonymous?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. I’d take rich, assuming that having one can’t get you the other without much effort.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: jhh | January 10, 2007 at 08:08 AM &lt;br /&gt;How often do you tell people who you are and get blank stares?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. About 20%.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Cisco | January 10, 2007 at 08:08 AM &lt;br /&gt;Leaving free will aside for a second, how do you determine which speaking gigs and personal appearances you accept? Do you look for new and interesting cities, certain types or sizes of groups, or anything different that catches your eye? Or is it just a matter of taking the gigs that fit your schedule?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. It’s a function of location and fit and schedule. I do what’s relatively easy and makes sense.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: James | January 10, 2007 at 08:07 AM &lt;br /&gt;If you could back in time and do this work while remaining anonymous, would you like to?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. Not a chance.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Catherine O&#39;Brien | January 10, 2007 at 08:07 AM &lt;br /&gt;What&#39;s your EQ?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. It’s very high. I can put off gratification for a long time if there’s a payoff. I worked on Dilbert for 10 years straight without taking a day off.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: John Steele | January 10, 2007 at 08:07 AM &lt;br /&gt;How many questions will you be able to answer in an hour ? My guess is: not much, &#39;cause you seem to develop every thought on the extreme. And that&#39;s why you&#39;re so damn interesting, funny side apart.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. We’ll see.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: KickMe | January 10, 2007 at 08:06 AM &lt;br /&gt;Have ever considered simply &#39;fucking off&#39; as the bard once wrote.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. It wouldn’t make me feel useful. I need to contribute to the world to feel good about myself.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Gordon_goosemonster | January 10, 2007 at 08:05 AM &lt;br /&gt;Your life has become more public since you started this blog. I’d be interested to know how your family and friends feel about that. Has privacy been an issue? Has anyone done or said something followed by “don’t you dare use this!”? Did you have to adjust your day to accommodate blogging or are you usually on the computer a lot anyway?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. Blogging takes a lot of time. So that’s an issue. Privacy has been an issue too, but for reasons of privacy I can’t explain how.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: CLB | January 10, 2007 at 08:05 AM &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;You say you like to rile people up. Have you ever met in person someone who was very angry, even threatening, because of something you said or wrote? How do you handle that? &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. Amazingly, not once.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Don Chivali | January 10, 2007 at 08:03 AM &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;In a fit of boredom a couple of years ago I read a biography of Wayne Gretzky. The crux of the book was this &amp;quot;If You Are Famous, A Lot of Weird People Will Write to You Asking for Stuff, Usually Money.&amp;quot; And had a hilarious chapter describing some of the more whacked out correspondences. So, Whats the &amp;quot;best&amp;quot; personal solicitation for big wodges of cash that you have gotten over the years, and why does hockey consistently have the worst haircuts in professional sports?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. I get lots of e-mail from people who have dying relatives who need autographs to ease their journey to the great beyond. The most annoying request is when people ask me to drive somewhere and meet someone who is a big fan. WTF?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Carney | January 10, 2007 at 08:00 AM &lt;br /&gt;What type of chair do you work from for long haul work?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. I think it’s a Steelcase Aero. It’s great.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Abe | January 10, 2007 at 07:59 AM &lt;br /&gt;Hi Scott,&lt;br /&gt;I just want an update on Jimmy Carter&#39;s book &amp;quot;Palestine: Peace not Apartheid&amp;quot;. Have you had a chance to read it yet?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. Just finished it. It’s a great read, but the Israeli supporters who say it’s biased have a good point.&amp;nbsp; Carter does minimize the terrorism and put the blame on Israel for stealing Arab land. His belief is that even Hamas would relinquish violence in the long run if Israel went back to its original borders.&amp;nbsp; But it’s clear from the book that Israel has more to gain by grabbing land and putting up with some violence, given that they expect it will never stop anyway.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: HALiverpool | January 10, 2007 at 07:58 AM &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Three questions:&lt;br /&gt;1) How do you keep people from claiming your ideas as theirs? Let&#39;s say I tell a joke in this forum and it shows up in a strip 6 months later. How do you protect yourself from the overly-litigious among us?&lt;br /&gt;A. The economic value of a joke is too small to justify a lawsuit. It’s not an issue.&lt;br /&gt;2) Paper or Plastic?&lt;br /&gt;A. Plastic&lt;br /&gt;3) A la James Lipton: What&#39;s your favorite curse word?&lt;br /&gt;A. Fuck&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Rich | January 10, 2007 at 07:56 AM &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;I know people come up to you in public and ask you questions and what not, but do you ever get the crazy anti-humor psycho in public who feels the urge to tell you how you are wrong and immoral in every way possible? Just wondering if you get the good with the bad in a public sense. Oh, and do you listen to msuic while creating the comic and if so, what is usually pumping out of your speakers while making the funny?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. People don’t go nuts on me in public.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. I can’t listen to music and do anything creative. &lt;br /&gt;Posted by: B | January 10, 2007 at 07:56 AM &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Do you find the intolerable pressure of having to think up new blogs and storylines affects you mentally - and how do you cope with the detrimental effect it has on your physical well-being and your day to day relationships.&lt;br /&gt;Just thought I&#39;d ask&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. It’s still easier than a real job. I never forge that.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Terry Murphy | January 10, 2007 at 07:55 AM &lt;br /&gt;Do you ever want to punch Bill Griffith?&lt;br /&gt;I mean, sure he wrote Zippy The Pinhead and all, but he is kinda obnoxious isn&#39;t he?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. Yes.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: mk | January 10, 2007 at 07:55 AM &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;How many times have you tried to use your minor celebrity status for personal gain without success (i.e. asking for a table at a crowded restaurant and being denied)? &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. I don’t use it.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Michael Lien | January 10, 2007 at 07:55 AM &lt;br /&gt;Since you have enough money, what motivates you to keep working?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. I don’t have enough money to maintain my current lifestyle until I am 140. But I need the creative release in any case.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: wrench | January 10, 2007 at 07:55 AM &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;What time do you get up in morning, what&#39;s your first hour routine like, and when are your most productive (creative) hours ?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. 6 am, usually. Eat a banana. Walk across the street to the office. Pet my “office cat” so she’ll stop bugging me. Drink a Diet Coke. Start work by 6:30 am. Write blog. Draw one or two comics. Then the “whatever” phase of the day begins and can go in any direction.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: p.serenissima | January 10, 2007 at 07:54 AM &lt;br /&gt;What coffee do you drink?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. None. I quit coffee. Made me piss too often. And the highs and lows were too extreme. Now I do Diet Cokes all day long for a mild but predictable buzz.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: wolvrin | January 10, 2007 at 07:54 AM &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;What did you do to become a paid speaker? Training wise. Also what is your core topic? I mean, do people hire you to just entertaine, spout insperation, or are they non-humorist related?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. I took the Dale Carnegie course. It was amazing. Otherwise it’s just practice plus some natural ability. I only speak to entertain, but sometimes people get accidentally inspired.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Richard | January 10, 2007 at 07:54 AM &lt;br /&gt;Hmmmm ... Do you like your work?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. Yes.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: clarke ching | January 10, 2007 at 07:53 AM &lt;br /&gt;What human being has awed you the most from meeting him or her? In other words, who has made you shake in your proverbial boots simply by being in his or her presence?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. Colin Powell. We were speaking at the same event. I met him back stage. I was okay until he said he is a Dilbert fan. Then I just went all goofy.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Rob I | January 10, 2007 at 07:53 AM &lt;br /&gt;Do people expect you to be funny in person? How do you deal with people expecting you to entertain them.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. I’m funny in person. If I feel like it.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Labrat | January 10, 2007 at 07:52 AM &lt;br /&gt;Bill Watterson had a famous 1989 speech (&lt;a href=&quot;http://hobbes.ncsa.uiuc.edu/comics.html&quot;&gt;http://hobbes.ncsa.uiuc.edu/comics.html&lt;/a&gt; ) about how cartooning has been cheapening: people care less about the artwork because there&#39;s less space on the page, the syndicates want quantity over quality, et cetera. How much of his commentary do you feel is on or off the mark? Do you feel pressure to create more ephemeral work that will be easily turned into plush dolls and calendars?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. Watterson is an artist, with all of the problems that come with that. I’m more of a businessman, with all of the problems that come with that. In other words, we would disagree on almost everything.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: B | January 10, 2007 at 07:52 AM &lt;br /&gt;Why do you spend so much time on this blog? Don&#39;t get me wrong, I enjoy reading it, I just don&#39;t see the value you derive from it compared to the time it takes.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. It’s the best creative outlet I’ve ever had. It’s the first time I’ve ever written in my own unrestrained voice.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Jim | January 10, 2007 at 07:52 AM &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;What kind of exercise/workout routine do you do? &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. Weights, recumbent bike a few times per week. Tennis twice a week, singles only.&lt;br /&gt;Do you exercise on a regular schedule, or is it more sporadic?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. I try for 4 or 5 times per week.&lt;br /&gt;Tell me how your workouts vary when your traveling, versus when you&#39;re on the road.&lt;br /&gt;A. I never work out when traveling for business. I don’t schedule enough time for that. I’d rather do my thing and get home.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Melanie | January 10, 2007 at 07:51 AM &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;And is the career of cartoonist pretty congenial or more of a dog-eat-dog, last-man-standing throwdown? Or, put another way, would you collaborate with Cathy Guisewite and have Dilbert visit Cathy&#39;s office (as a sales engineer in his current predicament), or conspire to establish Dilbert&#39;s office as the only true comic strip office?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. Cartoonists are notoriously friendly and helpful with each other. I don’t know why. It’s a good thing.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: T J | January 10, 2007 at 07:51 AM &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Since you&#39;re so good at observing the world, why don&#39;t you make a killing with the stock market?&lt;br /&gt;A. The stock market is random. All the science shows that.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Ross Orvack | January 10, 2007 at 07:50 AM &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;What do you think has made you so self confident? It is a familar theme to a lot of your success and interesting stories. Where doe sthat come from? Is it something your parents instilled in you or the result of some early experiences.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. I’ve wondered about that myself. I think it’s mostly natural. I feel smart, and I know I’m willing to work hard for what I want, so I figure those things will be enough to make at least 10% of what I try work out okay. And that’s generally enough to be successful.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: tBone | January 10, 2007 at 07:48 AM &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Do you have an agent or do you do you&#39;re own negotiations?&lt;br /&gt;A. It depends on the topic. My syndication company, United Media, handles all newspaper and licensing deals. If I do anything outside of that sphere, I might use only a lawyer or I might get representation (such as for a non-Dilbert book).&lt;br /&gt;How are syndicated cartoons valuated? Is there some readership metric used?&lt;br /&gt;A. We count the number of newspaper contracts. The contract for Sunday strips is separate from weekday strips, so if you run seven days a week, that counts as “two newspapers.” But some companies own several newspapers and sign just one contract for all of them, so it’s fuzzy math.&lt;br /&gt;If I were the head of a newspaper, how would I know if Cathy is more valuable than Dilbert?&lt;br /&gt;A. Newspapers do unscientific reader polls. But they also judge from the buzz. Dilbert was a best selling book before it did well in comic polls. That helped. And editors use their judgement.&lt;br /&gt;Are there any measures of ROI?&lt;br /&gt;A. No.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Seymour Butts | January 10, 2007 at 07:45 AM &lt;br /&gt;Do you ever get to use your celebrity powers for good? Or just to get to the middle of the latte line at the coffee shop?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. I do get to use it for good.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: J | January 10, 2007 at 07:44 AM &lt;br /&gt;Hi Scott,&lt;br /&gt;Question from my side: You put a lot of thought and effort a while back into designing the perfect &#39;dilbert&#39; house. Havning reviewed all the cool features in there, did you ever consider actually building such a house (with or without the dilbert observatory)?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. It’s in the design phase now. It will take a few more year.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Steve Janes | January 10, 2007 at 07:43 AM &lt;br /&gt;How often does one get propositions of a sexual nature? Legitimate ones I mean.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. From gay guys, sometimes. From women, never.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Neal | January 10, 2007 at 07:43 AM &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Do you support any philanthropies? If so, which ones and why? I find that learning how a person gives back to the community is a very effective way of learning about what really matters to that person.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. I have to do my giving anonymously or else I get pecked to death by people who see me as an easy mark.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Damien | January 10, 2007 at 07:43 AM &lt;br /&gt;About what time do you eat lunch?&lt;br /&gt;A. Noonish&lt;br /&gt;Do ideas for Dilbert come to you in a certain place (the shower, while driving) or just whenever?&lt;br /&gt;A. Only at my desk. Otherwise I rarely think about it. But blog ideas come all day long.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Guy | January 10, 2007 at 07:43 AM &lt;br /&gt;Another one, have you ever been in people or one of those celebrity magazines. If so, what for?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. I’ve been in People a few times, and once on the cover (with others). For the obvious reasons. &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Estill.Music | January 10, 2007 at 07:43 AM &lt;br /&gt;How the hell do you come up with something interesting, witty, and funny to write about EVERY SINGLE DAY? You&#39;re like the bionic blogger! Seriously, do you have a backlog of posts, or do you actually write one a day?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. I do one a day, usually. I just write what comes to mind.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Jim Caruthers | January 10, 2007 at 07:41 AM &lt;br /&gt;Can a single, hetero, minor celebrity cartoonist expect to score with minor celebrity groupie babes on a regular basis?&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A. No.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Posted by: Phil | January 10, 2007 at 07:40 AM &lt;/p&gt;</content:encoded>


<dc:subject>General Nonsense</dc:subject>

<dc:creator>Scott_Adams</dc:creator>
<dc:date>2007-01-10T11:03:29-08:00</dc:date>
</item>
<item rdf:about="http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/01/interactive_day.html">
<title>Interactive Day</title>
<link>http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/01/interactive_day.html</link>
<description>Tell me what makes you the most curious about the life of minor celebrity cartoonist and I&#39;ll answer as many questions as I can in a few hours....</description>
<content:encoded>&lt;p&gt;Tell me what makes you the most curious about the life of minor celebrity cartoonist and I&#39;ll answer as many questions as I can in a few hours.&lt;/p&gt;</content:encoded>


<dc:subject>General Nonsense</dc:subject>

<dc:creator>Scott_Adams</dc:creator>
<dc:date>2007-01-10T06:58:30-08:00</dc:date>
</item>
<item rdf:about="http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/01/headlines.html">
<title>Headlines</title>
<link>http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/01/headlines.html</link>
<description>I like to wake up in the morning, look at the CNN headlines, and decide what world problems I can solve today. Here are my choices: 1. Gunbattle in the heart of Baghdad2. U.S. strikes target in Somalia3. Strange odor...</description>
<content:encoded>

&lt;p&gt;I like to wake up in the morning, look at the CNN headlines, and decide what world problems I can solve today. Here are my choices:&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;1. Gunbattle in the heart of Baghdad&lt;br /&gt;2. U.S. strikes target in Somalia&lt;br /&gt;3. Strange odor in New York City&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;I can’t do much about battles that have already happened, so I decided to tackle New York’s mystery odor problem, using nothing but my gigantic intellect and the Internet.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;First, I noted that no one was dropping dead from the odor. That eliminates the possibility of terrorism, and a host of other deadly gasses.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;The smell covered lots of territory, so the source had to be likewise big. The obvious suspect – the gas company – didn’t think it was them. And no one noticed any overturned trucks or exploding buildings. Nor was the smell obviously stronger in one particular place. This called for some out-of-box thinking.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;So I Googled the Jacob J. Javits Convention Center to see which groups are in town. Sure enough, the National Legume Growers Association is having its annual convention. 26,000 attendees spent the day sampling beans, and then dispersed to unload their mystery gas in elevators, hotel lobbies, and cabs all across midtown Manhattan.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Many of the new bean types on display at the show are genetically modified. That means thousands of booth babes are tooting odors that this world has never known. No wonder it was a mystery. At least until I got involved.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Okay, okay, there is no such thing as the National Legume Growers Association. But there’s probably something like it. And you know they have conventions. So if they haven’t yet caused a mystery cloud of gas, it’s only a matter of time and ventilation.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;I wonder if I still have time to solve that Somalia thing.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;And if you didn’t like this post, you might be interested in this article in New Scientist about your favorite topic – the non-existence of free will:&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.newscientist.com/channel/fundamentals/mg19025504.000&quot;&gt;http://www.newscientist.com/channel/fundamentals/mg19025504.000&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

</content:encoded>


<dc:subject>Current Affairs</dc:subject>

<dc:creator>Scott_Adams</dc:creator>
<dc:date>2007-01-09T08:45:55-08:00</dc:date>
</item>
<item rdf:about="http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/01/life_on_mars_1.html">
<title>Life on Mars</title>
<link>http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/01/life_on_mars_1.html</link>
<description>Imagine that we find life on Mars but it is very tiny – say the size of a microbe. Then let’s say that those Martian life forms are super intelligent, and friendly, and peaceful. The only thing wrong with them...</description>
<content:encoded>



&lt;p&gt;Imagine that we find life on Mars but it is very tiny – say the size of a microbe. Then let’s say that those Martian life forms are super intelligent, and friendly, and peaceful. The only thing wrong with them is that they are really, really small. And Mars is covered with them. This raises a host of ethical questions.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Would we leave the tiny aliens to live in peace, or would we scoop up a few truckloads with our next probe and not give a shit because they are so tiny. Size matters when it comes to respecting other life forms. For example, you can easily swat a mosquito and it doesn’t bother you because the mosquito is so small. But it would be hard for most people to take a sledgehammer to a kangaroo. The nearer the victim is to your own size, the more empathy you have for it.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;This phenomenon is consistent in the “large” directions too. If something is much bigger than you, it’s easier to watch it get hurt. For example, I think we’d all agree that it would be kind of neat to watch Godzilla get disemboweled. It would be entertaining to see a spleen the size of a bus fall on the freeway and block traffic. I don’t think I’m the only one who feels that way.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;So anyway, I think that the super-tiny, genius Martians would be treated like trained fleas by their Earth-sized overlords. We’d get little cameras and make the Martians do Riverdancing for us. If they refused, we’d kill them with tweezers. It would be a very one-sided relationship.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Eventually there would be laws that say Earthlings can’t buy a bag full of Martians from the Russians and keep them (the Martians, not the Russians) in a terrarium. But until that law is passed, let’s say there’s a golden period where you can have your own tiny army of alien slaves. The Martians couldn’t do much for you that is useful, but maybe they could stand on each others’ shoulders inside their glass container and spell out the names of your house guests or something. &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;No matter how open-minded you are, the Martians would still be too small to be friends. You can’t go throw a ball with a friend who is smaller than an ant’s pecker on a cold day. At least not after the first few throws, assuming you have good aim. &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;The reason it’s legal to have pets is because they aren’t human. Just because the Martians are smart, that wouldn’t make any difference when it comes to classifying them as pets. There’s no law that says your pet has to be dumber than you. It just has to fear you. Intelligence is irrelevant. I mean, if your cat could read, you still wouldn’t let it drive your car to the library. You’d make it stay home and lay around on the rug. It’s your frickin’ cat, not a professor.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;So I don’t think that the tiny genius aliens will have much hope of ascending beyond the status of goldfish once we start sending shovels to Mars. But hey, they probably had a good run.&lt;/p&gt;</content:encoded>


<dc:subject>General Nonsense</dc:subject>

<dc:creator>Scott_Adams</dc:creator>
<dc:date>2007-01-08T06:53:16-08:00</dc:date>
</item>
<item rdf:about="http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/01/concept_car.html">
<title>Concept Car</title>
<link>http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/01/concept_car.html</link>
<description>I read on MSNBC.com that GM unveiled its electric concept car – the Chevrolet Volt. GM went on to say – and I swear I am not making this up – “GM officials stressed that development of the battery pack...</description>
<content:encoded>

&lt;p&gt;I read on MSNBC.com that GM unveiled its electric concept car – the Chevrolet Volt. GM went on to say – and I swear I am not making this up – “GM officials stressed that development of the battery pack is critical to the concept vehicle reaching showrooms, and the technology likely won’t be available until 2010 or 2012”&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;In other words, except for knowing how to make a battery for their electric car, everything else is pretty much under control. If you were an employee of GM, I have to think this would worry you.&amp;nbsp; But wait, there’s more.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;GM went on to say that they realize the Volt’s price will have to be competitive. In other words, they are pinning their hopes on someday figuring out how to make a battery, and someday figuring out how to make the entire car as cheaply as a standard car that already has gigantic economies of scale.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;GM says it could save the owner up to $900 per year in gas. Nitpicking economists will notice that they don’t mention whether the total energy cost of producing the car and the electricity to run it is more or less than the total energy consumed in creating and using a regular car. &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;To summarize GM’s Concept:&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Someday GM hopes to figure out how to make a big honkin’ car battery, and figure out how to do it economically, and hope the whole project ends up saving more energy than it consumes, or failing in that, hope no one asks how much energy it takes to build the cars.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;It’s called a “concept car” because that sounds better than “something we pulled out of our ass and hope to someday shove up yours.”&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A GM Vice President said, “This is not a publicity stunt.” Another GM vice president added, “We’ve been working very quietly and methodically on the concept and all the details associated with it.”&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;I’m guessing that the happiest employees at GM are the ones who are working on concepts. That sounds way easier than building actual cars. I’m the sort of guy who would not last long in that department. During meetings I’d be all “Let’s say the car will fly as soon as we figure out how to build an anti-gravity pack that only costs a nickel.” Everyone would stare at me and the room would get quiet. Then I’d say, “And it should be invisible and indestructible, and use no energy.”&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Again, the room would get very quiet. There might be some nervous shuffling. Then I’d say, “What’s the matter with you people? Don’t you know what a concept is???”&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;That would be my last day in the concept department, and in all likelihood, the beginning of my career as a cartoonist. &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Here’s the link to the full story:&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16503845/&quot;&gt;http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16503845/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

</content:encoded>


<dc:subject>Current Affairs</dc:subject>

<dc:creator>Scott_Adams</dc:creator>
<dc:date>2007-01-07T09:03:27-08:00</dc:date>
</item>
<item rdf:about="http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/01/the_humortonaug.html">
<title>The Humor-to-Naughtiness Ratio</title>
<link>http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/01/the_humortonaug.html</link>
<description>I’ll always wonder how it got published. It was the naughtiest comic I’ve ever created, at least intentionally. As I recall, it sailed through the system without a hitch. Here it is. 4-25-98 Comic (click it to enlarge) My best...</description>
<content:encoded>&lt;p&gt;I’ll always wonder how it got published. It was the naughtiest comic I’ve ever created, at least intentionally. As I recall, it sailed through the system without a hitch. Here it is.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;4-25-98 Comic (click it to enlarge)&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;&lt;a onclick=&quot;window.open(this.href, &#39;_blank&#39;, &#39;width=800,height=268,scrollbars=no,resizable=no,toolbar=no,directories=no,location=no,menubar=no,status=no,left=0,top=0&#39;); return false&quot; href=&quot;http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/.shared/image.html?/photos/uncategorized/980425_cubicle_womb_1.jpg&quot;&gt;&lt;img title=&quot;980425_cubicle_womb_1&quot; height=&quot;33&quot; alt=&quot;980425_cubicle_womb_1&quot; src=&quot;http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/images/980425_cubicle_womb_1.jpg&quot; width=&quot;100&quot; border=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 5px 5px 0px&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;My best guess as to why editors allowed it in newspapers is that minors wouldn’t get the joke, whereas adults who had jobs would appreciate the inference that the pointy-haired-boss is a dick. But I also think it helped that it was funny.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;There’s an unwritten rule in humor that you can get away with more vulgarity if the joke is extra funny. The best example I can think of is the Seinfeld episode called The Contest. The story involved the entire cast competing to see who could avoid masturbating for the longest time. I’m convinced that it only got on television because it was so spectacularly funny. (And it didn’t hurt that it was a huge hit show.)&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;By the time my “womb” comic ran, Dilbert was already a big hit. And it’s fair to say that lots of people hate their bosses enough to think of them as huge dicks, which makes the comic seem funnier. When you combine that with the fact that kids won’t get the joke, I had accidentally created the perfect storm situation for getting away with maximum vulgarity. &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;And yet there is one comic that topped them all. One day I got an e-mail from a reader who said, “I see what you’re doing. In your comic today you drew that character to look like a huge penis.”&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;My first reaction was that the reader was, ironically, a nut. Obviously I would never draw a cartoon featuring a huge talking penis. And if I did, obviously it would never get published. I was submitting my work so many months ahead at that point that I didn’t even know which comic he was referring to. But out of curiosity I decided to look and see if there was any merit to his absurd claim that I drew a character that looks like a gigantic penis. This is the comic.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;12-2-92 Comic (click it to enlarge)&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;&lt;a onclick=&quot;window.open(this.href, &#39;_blank&#39;, &#39;width=800,height=273,scrollbars=no,resizable=no,toolbar=no,directories=no,location=no,menubar=no,status=no,left=0,top=0&#39;); return false&quot; href=&quot;http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/.shared/image.html?/photos/uncategorized/12292_penis_head_300dpi.jpg&quot;&gt;&lt;img title=&quot;12292_penis_head_300dpi&quot; height=&quot;34&quot; alt=&quot;12292_penis_head_300dpi&quot; src=&quot;http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/images/12292_penis_head_300dpi.jpg&quot; width=&quot;100&quot; border=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 5px 5px 0px&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Oh. Okay. Maybe.&lt;/p&gt;</content:encoded>


<dc:subject>General Nonsense</dc:subject>

<dc:creator>Scott_Adams</dc:creator>
<dc:date>2007-01-06T11:34:00-08:00</dc:date>
</item>
<item rdf:about="http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/01/vegetarian_says.html">
<title>Vegetarian Says, “Bring it on!”</title>
<link>http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/01/vegetarian_says.html</link>
<description>A reader e-mailed me to point out that we humans have eyes in the front of our heads, as opposed to the sides, so our design is more like hunters than prey. Hunters need good front-vision eyes that help them...</description>
<content:encoded>&lt;p&gt;A reader e-mailed me to point out that we humans have eyes in the front of our heads, as opposed to the sides, so our design is more like hunters than prey. Hunters need good front-vision eyes that help them focus on the prey. Prey need good side-view vision so nothing can sneak up on them.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;So we’re designed as hunters. Unfortunately, we are very, very slow hunters.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Have you tried to outrun an animal lately? Those fuckers are fast. And I’m not talking about cheetahs and rabbits. I couldn’t catch a motivated woodchuck. I suppose I could catch a panda. But I’d have to run to China to do it. And I could probably catch a turtle, although it wouldn’t help much unless I brought my turtle opener.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;For all other animal – the speedy ones – I would need some sort of weapon. Luckily we humans as designed to use tools.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;But wait…&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;If it’s okay to include intelligence and the use of tools in the discussion of what we’re “designed” to eat, then I say we’re designed to be soy-loving vegetarians who take B12 and Omega-3 supplements. Our big brains figured out that we need that stuff and our tools provided them.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A number of Dilbert Blog readers proudly pointed out the obvious, that we’re omnivores capable of eating both meat and plants. Well, some cultures eat dirt too. As long as it’s in moderation, we can eat a lot of things. In fact, the perfect protein for humans to eat is other humans. So arguably we are best designed to be cannibals, as long as we only eat people who were going to die soon anyway.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;The important question is what diet is best for us, without getting bogged down in the “designed for” swamp. &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Some people who commented went so far as to assert that we NEED meat in our diets to be healthy. This is a popular view among meat-eaters.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Vegetarians believe that there is no science to support the belief that we NEED meat (not counting the B12 and Omega-3 supplements). And not counting any studies that were funded by the meat industry.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;So let’s throw down. &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Meat eaters, show me the links to studies supporting the view that eating meat in moderation is healthier than eating no meat.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Vegetarians, show us your links proving that a proper vegetarian diet is the healthiest.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;For now, let’s leave fish out of this. I think both sides agree that eating some fish can be good in your diet. Vegetarians simply prefer to get those nutrients elsewhere. I want to see the meat eaters make their case with mammal and bird meat.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Remember, you meat eaters are not trying to show that a tiny bit of meat won’t HURT you. You’re trying to show that it’s actually healthier to have some meat than no meat.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Go.&lt;/p&gt;</content:encoded>


<dc:subject>General Nonsense</dc:subject>

<dc:creator>Scott_Adams</dc:creator>
<dc:date>2007-01-05T07:25:46-08:00</dc:date>
</item>
<item rdf:about="http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/01/i_cant_stop_mys.html">
<title>I Can’t Stop Myself. Seriously.</title>
<link>http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/01/i_cant_stop_mys.html</link>
<description>I promised myself I wouldn’t write about free will again. But so many people sent me this link to a story in the New York Times that I feel compelled to share it, ironically: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/01/02/science/02free.html?ei=5087%0Aem=en=955a97875084f083ex=1167886800pagewanted=all. I won’t add anything to...</description>
<content:encoded>&lt;p&gt;I promised myself I wouldn’t write about free will again. But so many people sent me this link to a story in the New York Times that I feel compelled to share it, ironically:&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/2007/01/02/science/02free.html?ei=5087%0A&amp;amp;em=&amp;amp;en=955a97875084f083&amp;amp;ex=1167886800&amp;amp;pagewanted=all&quot;&gt;http://www.nytimes.com/2007/01/02/science/02free.html?ei=5087%0A&amp;amp;em=&amp;amp;en=955a97875084f083&amp;amp;ex=1167886800&amp;amp;pagewanted=all&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;I won’t add anything to the NY Times article. I just wanted to show you that science is mostly on my side. And for those who still believe in free will, it’s time to accept that it’s a fuzzy idea with zero evidence. I don’t think free will even qualifies as a hypothesis because it can’t be described in any logically coherent way. You end up with phrases like “emergent properties,” which is another way of saying you hope someday you can describe what free will is, but right now you can’t even define it, much less test for it.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;The discussion of free will reminds me, in an indirect way, of the question about whether people are “designed” to be carnivores. I hear this argument a lot because I’m a vegetarian. &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;By “designed,” I don’t mean to imply a designer. That’s an entirely different discussion. In this case I’m only referring to the question of whether the human body, in its current form, is well suited to eating meat.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Meat-eaters point out that we have sharp teeth and we can digest meat just like typical carnivores. Therefore we are natural meat-eaters. The counter argument is that true carnivores – a lion for example – can eat huge quantities of meat without any bad health implications. When humans eat a lot of meat, our arteries clog, we have heart attacks, and we die. Every person is different, but on average, too much meat in a human diet is unhealthy. And “too much meat” happens pretty quickly. That’s not much of a design.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;I could be wrong about free will not existing. And I could be wrong about our bodies being more suited for the vegetarian diet than for meat. But in either case, science would have to discover something new in order to make the argument. The known facts all point in the same direction. The “feelings” all point in the other.&lt;/p&gt;</content:encoded>


<dc:subject>General Nonsense</dc:subject>

<dc:creator>Scott_Adams</dc:creator>
<dc:date>2007-01-04T08:52:44-08:00</dc:date>
</item>
<item rdf:about="http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/01/inappropriate_h.html">
<title>Inappropriate Humor</title>
<link>http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/01/inappropriate_h.html</link>
<description>I was surprised by the disgust that I generated with my post about Saddam’s execution. People said they’d never read my blog again. Other people said they had lost all respect for me. My reaction to this disgust was “Someone...</description>
<content:encoded>

&lt;p&gt;I was surprised by the disgust that I generated with my post about Saddam’s execution. People said they’d never read my blog again. Other people said they had lost all respect for me.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;My reaction to this disgust was “Someone once respected me? Cool!” But I also spent a lot of time trying to understand exactly what the issue was.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Judging from the comments, the problem had something to do with the fact that killing a human being is not funny. At least not right away. You have to wait. Some of my favorite jokes involve people who got killed a long time ago:&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;“Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?”&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;“Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the dead, seeing his shadow and forecasting six more weeks of winter.”&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;The “killing” part of those jokes doesn’t seem so bad now because a lot of time has gone by. I’ll still burn in Hell for comparing Jesus to a groundhog, but that’s an entirely different issue.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;You can also make jokes about generic people who might be dead soon. Here’s one of my favorites:&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;A moron calls 911 and says in his moron accent, “My wife just collapsed!”&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;The dispatcher says, “Calm down. Where are you located?”&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;The man says, “I’m on the corner of Eucalyptus and Pine.”&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;The dispatcher asks, “How do you spell Eucalyptus?”&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;There’s a long pause and then the moron says, “I could drag her to Oak.”&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;I’m assuming I won’t have to wait too long before it will be okay to make light of Saddam’s execution. Five years, tops. I suppose it’s the economist in me that wanted to get some immediate value from it. I’ll put it on my calendar. I like having things to look forward to.&lt;/p&gt;

</content:encoded>


<dc:subject>General Nonsense</dc:subject>

<dc:creator>Scott_Adams</dc:creator>
<dc:date>2007-01-03T07:30:38-08:00</dc:date>
</item>
<item rdf:about="http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/01/restroom_automa.html">
<title>Restroom Automation</title>
<link>http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/01/restroom_automa.html</link>
<description>I remember my excitement the first time I saw a restroom faucet with a motion detector. It was like magic. I just waved my hand in front of the sensor and water spat forth. It was like the food replicator...</description>
<content:encoded>&lt;p&gt;I remember my excitement the first time I saw a restroom faucet with a motion detector. It was like magic. I just waved my hand in front of the sensor and water spat forth. It was like the food replicator on the Star Ship Enterprise, but Version 1.0 that only produces cooty water.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Eventually the soap dispenser caught up. That was less exciting for two reasons: 1) It was just copying the water faucet, and 2) It is exactly how I imagine it would feel if a bird pooped on my hand. &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Lately, some paper towel dispensers have joined the action. Activate the sensor and a paper towel presents itself. Scientists have obviously spent a lot of time calculating the proper dimensions for this towel. It’s precisely the size that is too small to be satisfying and yet large enough that you won’t rip the dispenser off the wall, smash it in the sink and grab a big wad of towels from its stinkin’ guts. But you’re tempted.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;I love all of these motion sensor devices despite the fact that I live my life in a partial Sixth Sense way, i.e. barely registering as alive. For example, I often have conversations with people who don’t know I’m even talking to them. I am usually not aware of this until they get distracted by a bright light or noise and wander away. Motion sensors give me the same problem. I generally have to solicit two or three sinks before I find a faucet that will acknowledge me. It takes two or three more sinks to find a soap dispenser that is willing to poop on my hand. If the paper towel dispenser has a motion sensor, I know I’m in for a long day.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;I’m anxiously awaiting the next innovation in restroom automation. I assume developers are already working on the last mile: A robotic arm to unzip my pants, grab my unit, then do the holding, shaking, and repackaging. I’m too busy to do that stuff for myself. Plus I was already spoiled by the time they automated the paper towel dispenser. &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;The Autopee device (it needs a name) would be problematic because every guy is built different. Somehow it would need to know the dimensions of what’s behind your zipper so it didn’t accidentally neuter you. I suppose the best way to do that is to have some sort of voice recognition software that asks you what kind of car you drive. If it’s a Porsche, for example, you might be compensating. If it’s a Honda minivan, you’re probably sporting an anaconda. &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;You’d also have to tell the Autopee how much shaking you want, ranging anywhere from two quick flicks to a happy ending. &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Good luck getting that image out of your head.&lt;/p&gt;</content:encoded>


<dc:subject>General Nonsense</dc:subject>

<dc:creator>Scott_Adams</dc:creator>
<dc:date>2007-01-02T07:13:30-08:00</dc:date>
</item>


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